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How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space Ninja

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Bounty hunters. Ninjas. Anthropomorphic musk oxen from the moons of Gartosh. Welcome to the gut busting and page turning universe of Duke LaGrange! When bounty hunter Duke LaGrange and his oft inebriated Japanese-Irish ninja companion, Ishiro’shea, entered their favorite watering hole, Cyborg Joe’s Grill N’ Go & The Why Not Saloon, they had no idea that they would soon b Bounty hunters. Ninjas. Anthropomorphic musk oxen from the moons of Gartosh. Welcome to the gut busting and page turning universe of Duke LaGrange! When bounty hunter Duke LaGrange and his oft inebriated Japanese-Irish ninja companion, Ishiro’shea, entered their favorite watering hole, Cyborg Joe’s Grill N’ Go & The Why Not Saloon, they had no idea that they would soon be gobbled up by an unhinged astral anomaly and deposited on an uncharted primitive world. Few things are worse than undeveloped planets especially those that haven’t even made it to the soufflé stage. To top it off, this particular planet comes with its own insane ruler and an Orb that Controls Everything and Must be Respected. The bounty hunting duo will need to navigate a violent rebellion, flying fire breathing panthers, and mutated swamp cannibals in order to avoid being stranded light years from the nearest well-made martini. How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space Ninja is the first book in The Adventures of Duke LaGrange, a series of hilarious sci-fi adventure romps from the creative mind of Jay Key. You are sure to fall in love with Key’s menagerie of colorful characters and laugh-out loud storytelling talents. Praise for How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space Ninja: "A raucous, new kind of pulp action hero...Flash Gordon, Jack Burton, and Buckaroo Banzai got nothing on Duke LaGrange." - Marcus Muller, comic artist and creator of King of the Unknown "[W]itty, fast-paced...[an] imaginative style of writing." - Readers' Favorite "For goofy grown up pulp readers and sci-fi geeks, it's as much fun as a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster." - Frank R. Sjodin, pulp author and 2017 Audio Verse Award Winner


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Bounty hunters. Ninjas. Anthropomorphic musk oxen from the moons of Gartosh. Welcome to the gut busting and page turning universe of Duke LaGrange! When bounty hunter Duke LaGrange and his oft inebriated Japanese-Irish ninja companion, Ishiro’shea, entered their favorite watering hole, Cyborg Joe’s Grill N’ Go & The Why Not Saloon, they had no idea that they would soon b Bounty hunters. Ninjas. Anthropomorphic musk oxen from the moons of Gartosh. Welcome to the gut busting and page turning universe of Duke LaGrange! When bounty hunter Duke LaGrange and his oft inebriated Japanese-Irish ninja companion, Ishiro’shea, entered their favorite watering hole, Cyborg Joe’s Grill N’ Go & The Why Not Saloon, they had no idea that they would soon be gobbled up by an unhinged astral anomaly and deposited on an uncharted primitive world. Few things are worse than undeveloped planets especially those that haven’t even made it to the soufflé stage. To top it off, this particular planet comes with its own insane ruler and an Orb that Controls Everything and Must be Respected. The bounty hunting duo will need to navigate a violent rebellion, flying fire breathing panthers, and mutated swamp cannibals in order to avoid being stranded light years from the nearest well-made martini. How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space Ninja is the first book in The Adventures of Duke LaGrange, a series of hilarious sci-fi adventure romps from the creative mind of Jay Key. You are sure to fall in love with Key’s menagerie of colorful characters and laugh-out loud storytelling talents. Praise for How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space Ninja: "A raucous, new kind of pulp action hero...Flash Gordon, Jack Burton, and Buckaroo Banzai got nothing on Duke LaGrange." - Marcus Muller, comic artist and creator of King of the Unknown "[W]itty, fast-paced...[an] imaginative style of writing." - Readers' Favorite "For goofy grown up pulp readers and sci-fi geeks, it's as much fun as a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster." - Frank R. Sjodin, pulp author and 2017 Audio Verse Award Winner

30 review for How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space Ninja

  1. 5 out of 5

    Mrs. Garen L. Herd

    Good read I bought this because I thought it sounded funny....And it was. I had a hard time getting into the first couple of chapters. Then the excitement started and it was hard to put down. Lots of action, laughs, no sex. I don't normally buy male authors, but this one was very entertaining. Highly recommend. Good read I bought this because I thought it sounded funny....And it was. I had a hard time getting into the first couple of chapters. Then the excitement started and it was hard to put down. Lots of action, laughs, no sex. I don't normally buy male authors, but this one was very entertaining. Highly recommend.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Todd I.

    Got a Facebook ad about this book and was hooked by the tag line. Really awesome book. It reminded me of the Star Wars Cantina scene mixed with Krull. I don't know why. Funny author. I'm a heavy reader and I gobbled this up in less than 48 hours. Got a Facebook ad about this book and was hooked by the tag line. Really awesome book. It reminded me of the Star Wars Cantina scene mixed with Krull. I don't know why. Funny author. I'm a heavy reader and I gobbled this up in less than 48 hours.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Michael Martin

    Excellent mix of sci-fi & fantasy Duke LaGrange book 1 was an excellent mix of sci-fi and fantasy. I am pleased to have stumbled upon the works of author Jay Key. Fans of Barry J. Hutchison and Simon Haynes will feel right at home with this adventurous tale and cast of characters.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Carol V.

    I love zany adventures and I loved this book. The author is very descriptive and I love his humor and style. Very good read. Can't wait to pick up book 2. **I got this book as a $0.99 discount on Book Sends** I love zany adventures and I loved this book. The author is very descriptive and I love his humor and style. Very good read. Can't wait to pick up book 2. **I got this book as a $0.99 discount on Book Sends**

  5. 4 out of 5

    Book Wyvern

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. **spoiler below** I picked up this at a local Half Price Books and finished it pretty quickly. My thoughts are as follows. I’m a huge fan of comic science fiction and fantasy so that’s what attracted me to this book. The cover says it all. I also love my zany genre fiction to be really bombastic and over-the-top in its language. That’s where this book immediately had me - the author is prone to some pretty grandiose written fireworks. And he nails them. The language is flowery—yes—but it adds to **spoiler below** I picked up this at a local Half Price Books and finished it pretty quickly. My thoughts are as follows. I’m a huge fan of comic science fiction and fantasy so that’s what attracted me to this book. The cover says it all. I also love my zany genre fiction to be really bombastic and over-the-top in its language. That’s where this book immediately had me - the author is prone to some pretty grandiose written fireworks. And he nails them. The language is flowery—yes—but it adds to the descriptions of these far-fetched characters. However, what really hooked me was the theme—or what I interpreted as the underlying theme. In comic sci-fi, a message is usually drowned out by puns and silly antics. This book delivered on that unwritten promise to give the reader something to think about. The author’s story is really a commentary on religion—which isn’t original necessarily—but I liked that his message wasn’t that religion is bad but rather it’s up to believers to not be bullied by fear into being a mindless sheep. The Northern priests are examples of that when they drop everything because of the fear of The Orb. In the end, Duke and the crew don’t stomp out a belief system but rather a corrupt master manipulator. I’d like to think that they Northern tribe went back to their religion, pre-Orbius. At the end of the day, this story isn’t unique in the idea but rather the freshness of the world. I haven’t ever read a book with major character having taken a vow of silence. The author doesn’t shy away from him either, he’s in the middle of every scene and progressing the story along. My minor bit of negative feedback is that I wish more scenes took place in Cyborg Joe’s. It very obvious that they author is more at home in that setting than the sweeping epic fantasy world of Neprius. Overall, a strong 4.8 out of 5 for me. Highly recommend. Very quick read.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Vin

    This book is just cool. From the cover art to the author's humorous style to the [email protected] imagery, it's flat out sweet. I typically don't enjoy books THIS lighthearted and fun (more of a thriller, horror, or hard sci-fi guy), but this one was engaging and a page turner. I would like to see this cat right something more serious as he is the most descriptive (without being boring) writer that I've read in a while. Some of my favorite things 1) Any time they are in the bar, Cyborg Joe's. I want to go This book is just cool. From the cover art to the author's humorous style to the [email protected] imagery, it's flat out sweet. I typically don't enjoy books THIS lighthearted and fun (more of a thriller, horror, or hard sci-fi guy), but this one was engaging and a page turner. I would like to see this cat right something more serious as he is the most descriptive (without being boring) writer that I've read in a while. Some of my favorite things 1) Any time they are in the bar, Cyborg Joe's. I want to go there. 2) The final battle scene in the throne room. It was over-the-top and action-packed. 3) How he makes fun of typical sci-fi stuff like alien names with apostrophes or predictable villains. He actually calls out these tropes in his story. So great. Least favorite things 1) I felt the pacing was great at the beginning, then a slower middle build, then a frantic conclusion. It was fine but I could see that being a negative.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Robert Tyrus

    Holy mole! This was super fun. I loved the combination of silliness + action...the reviews that I've read on Amazon and Goodreads were spot on (for the most part). Duke is a great character. It definitely reminded me of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy--but more action-packed. My favorite part is the ship--the Deus Ex Machina--and how it openly gets them out of jams without the "required' explanation. It's all tongue-in-cheek and a wink to intelligent readers. I also love that it openly makes fun Holy mole! This was super fun. I loved the combination of silliness + action...the reviews that I've read on Amazon and Goodreads were spot on (for the most part). Duke is a great character. It definitely reminded me of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy--but more action-packed. My favorite part is the ship--the Deus Ex Machina--and how it openly gets them out of jams without the "required' explanation. It's all tongue-in-cheek and a wink to intelligent readers. I also love that it openly makes fun of sci-fi tropes like having 100 "space" names and alien races for the heck of it. I am excited for the 2nd book to come to audio (fingers crossed). **disclosure...I listened to the audiobook**

  8. 4 out of 5

    Jameson B.

    Loved this read. Definitely an easy read but the author has some talented storytelling fireworks when you least expect it. It reads like a fantasy adventure but with oddball characters that remind me of HHGTTG. You can tell that he takes his cues from action movies and pulpy novels of yesteryear. I really liked how one of his main characters doesn’t even talk. That’s a gutsy move. Already started the second book and it’s even better. It’s a very similar feel/vibe but tighter and punchier. This i Loved this read. Definitely an easy read but the author has some talented storytelling fireworks when you least expect it. It reads like a fantasy adventure but with oddball characters that remind me of HHGTTG. You can tell that he takes his cues from action movies and pulpy novels of yesteryear. I really liked how one of his main characters doesn’t even talk. That’s a gutsy move. Already started the second book and it’s even better. It’s a very similar feel/vibe but tighter and punchier. This is a really well thought out universe with some cool twists on pretty standard sci-fantasy tropes.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Jenny838

    I was a little nervous because of the title but someone told me that the book series is not about a space cowboy that "picks up women". I was pleasantly surprised at how well-written this book was (once again, due to the title), it has been my favorite read of 2019. Also, if anything, it makes fun of and parodies the womanize rogue that we've seen in too much media. Other than the sidekick ninja, the female characters are the most imposing and powerful. I know this is a "comedy adventure" (as it I was a little nervous because of the title but someone told me that the book series is not about a space cowboy that "picks up women". I was pleasantly surprised at how well-written this book was (once again, due to the title), it has been my favorite read of 2019. Also, if anything, it makes fun of and parodies the womanize rogue that we've seen in too much media. Other than the sidekick ninja, the female characters are the most imposing and powerful. I know this is a "comedy adventure" (as it describes itself) but it came across as an effective jab/satire against tired sci-fi tropes. And I loved that about it!

  10. 4 out of 5

    Ty Sapp

    Funny story with a good amount of action. Love the characters and vivid descriptions. I read this in three days (which is fast for me). Really good series starter; at times, can drag in the middle but didn’t take me away from the story. Strong ending. I really hope there are some additional side stories with the ancillary characters—I almost liked them more than Duke LaGrange. I disagree with the one commenter, it didn’t feel like HHGTTG—it less silly (but still silly) and it had more adventure. Funny story with a good amount of action. Love the characters and vivid descriptions. I read this in three days (which is fast for me). Really good series starter; at times, can drag in the middle but didn’t take me away from the story. Strong ending. I really hope there are some additional side stories with the ancillary characters—I almost liked them more than Duke LaGrange. I disagree with the one commenter, it didn’t feel like HHGTTG—it less silly (but still silly) and it had more adventure. Highly recommend.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Mosura YA

    I've been reading so many sci fi books with a touch of humor or silliness and this series has stood out. I would probably rate it as my second favorite behind Scott Meyer's "Off to be the Wizard" (Magic 2.0). I like that its silly but at the heart its a good adventure story. I LOVE THE NINJA BECAUSE HE DOESNT TALK BUT HE'S THE BEST CHARACTER. I just like how this book doesn't feel old and dated, it's fresh. Finished the second book in one weekend (Hint* It's better than the first book!). I've been reading so many sci fi books with a touch of humor or silliness and this series has stood out. I would probably rate it as my second favorite behind Scott Meyer's "Off to be the Wizard" (Magic 2.0). I like that its silly but at the heart its a good adventure story. I LOVE THE NINJA BECAUSE HE DOESNT TALK BUT HE'S THE BEST CHARACTER. I just like how this book doesn't feel old and dated, it's fresh. Finished the second book in one weekend (Hint* It's better than the first book!).

  12. 5 out of 5

    lifewithmaddi

    Overall, a pretty decent book. It was very fun to listen to on those morning drives to and from work. The tone is wonderful and funny and I really enjoyed how it made fun of almost every sci fi trope. My boyfriend and I have started the 2nd book in the series and I can't wait for the 3rd one! Overall, a pretty decent book. It was very fun to listen to on those morning drives to and from work. The tone is wonderful and funny and I really enjoyed how it made fun of almost every sci fi trope. My boyfriend and I have started the 2nd book in the series and I can't wait for the 3rd one!

  13. 4 out of 5

    Marshall Clowers

    Very light hearted, and I was needing something mindlessly funny. This fits the bill. It's a familiar enough story, but Duke's antics make for a pleasant surprise. Very light hearted, and I was needing something mindlessly funny. This fits the bill. It's a familiar enough story, but Duke's antics make for a pleasant surprise.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Jason G.

    Great read (I listened to the audiobook). It was about as fun of a sci-fi adventure as I've read in a while. Great read (I listened to the audiobook). It was about as fun of a sci-fi adventure as I've read in a while.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Owens Cook

    Easy read. Fun. Good writer.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Grumpus

    The grumpus23 (23-word commentary) Obviously hoped for better. Writing style is contrived. Less humor than expected but surprisingly feel it could make a better movie than book.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Rain B.

    New to goodreads but I consider myself a super fan of sci-fi comedy (aka sci-fun). This is in my top 5 fun sci-adventures of all-time. Not quite HHGTTG but better than many of the other contemporaries. Really like the character build of Duke, from a easy-to-hate, 1-track minded, goof that happens to be a good sharpshooter...to someone capable of saving a planet and finding love. Also, I didn’t hate the anti-religion overtones. They were subtle but powerful.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Atz

    Spoilers. The book starts a bit slow and your not sure if Duke LaGrange is annoying or likeable but the character develops into a funny one that carries an otherwise not very epic story line. The other characters are a bit flat and seem to be around just to fill out spots in the universe but the well written one liners still makes the book fun. Would recommend.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Hikaru

    Really good adventure. Great dialogue. Love how descriptive the author is. I feel sci-fi is going through a “less is more” phase and it’s nice to see the embellished language again. Very Douglas Adams.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Wongi

    I found this book enjoyable. I look forward to reading the next in this series.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Ake Hama

    Ok, this series is amazing. Discovered it at a local coffee shop (it was on the bring a book-take a book shelf thingie). I love SF adventures and this has it all. A little humor, a little action, a little intrigue, and written really well. It was very movie-like, curious if the author has done film. I bought the other two and read them immediately. A+ / well done / love it.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Chris Okray

    Fun I kept wondering what was next? A fun read for a fun book. I wonder what is next for the Duke!

  23. 4 out of 5

    RoRo

    My favorite of all of the silly science fiction series. I like it because the characters were more well fleshed out than other series.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Alaskan Husky

    Excellent writing. Wordsmith to the max. Best descriptions in any fiction book I’ve read over the last 3-4 years. Check this one out.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Edward Johnston

    More please

  26. 4 out of 5

    Alberto C.

    Great adventure story with funny characters. Favorite book of 2020 reading list.

  27. 4 out of 5

    George Keaton

    A Fun Little Pulp Romp A pair of bounty hunting drunks walk into a bar. Not a joke. Just a setup. After some grounding chapters that establishes that the titular character has lost his mojo somehow, and that they are indeed skilled drunks, they get sucked into a portal to another unknown system. Thus the adventure on the planet of Neprius begins. Duke LaGrange is a walking, talking ass. Throughout the adventure, he rarely has the right thing to say, his timing is off by miles, and his decision mak A Fun Little Pulp Romp A pair of bounty hunting drunks walk into a bar. Not a joke. Just a setup. After some grounding chapters that establishes that the titular character has lost his mojo somehow, and that they are indeed skilled drunks, they get sucked into a portal to another unknown system. Thus the adventure on the planet of Neprius begins. Duke LaGrange is a walking, talking ass. Throughout the adventure, he rarely has the right thing to say, his timing is off by miles, and his decision making is suspect. His partner Ishiro is silent, stoic, and more level-headed, except when it comes to drink. What the pair lack in brain power, however, they make up for in pure heart. They make the wrong decisions for the right reasons throughout the story. There is a lot of humor throughout the book, most of it taking the form of dumb banter. The Douglas Adams reliable but ruthless narration is not here, if that's what one was expecting. Nope, here Duke opens his mouth and gets into constant trouble. He lost his mojo, and his stupid face can't help but say the most grinding, show-stopping, inappropriate one-liners possible. It sets up some humorous pieces with both races of Neprians, who, sidenote, are none too bright themselves. There are gigantic, red-blob portal sized plot holes in the end. The ending was moderately satisfying in that regard. Most of the story's threads end up getting resolved, but I noticed some things that took away some of my enjoyment. Also, there were some pacing issues in the middle. The story slowed down a bit, but then it picks up hard for the last 40% of the book. Overall, it was a humorous piece of pulp sci-fi. There is a lot of heart to be found. The promise of a chauvinist pig trying to bang anything that walks gets toned way down in favor of a genuine story. I'm glad I got through the entire book, I ended up really liking it and deciding to read the next book in the series.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Peter

    fun read

  29. 5 out of 5

    Michael

    Not funny I was hoping for humor and great writing. I didn’t get either. And the author clearly knows nothing about ninjas. I used to study Ninjutsu. The author makes a mockery of the art. Not impressed.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Arthur Dent, Jr.

    My 3rd favorite sci-fi comedy series behind HHGTTG and Callahan's. Not as good of a bar as Callahan's...my biggest gripe. Ha. I like the fantasy elements mixed in. Admittedly, books 2-3 are stronger than book 1. Best descriptions of weird alien sh*t in the galaxy. Ha. My 3rd favorite sci-fi comedy series behind HHGTTG and Callahan's. Not as good of a bar as Callahan's...my biggest gripe. Ha. I like the fantasy elements mixed in. Admittedly, books 2-3 are stronger than book 1. Best descriptions of weird alien sh*t in the galaxy. Ha.

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