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Wired for Love: A Neuroscientist's Journey Through Romance, Loss, and the Essence of Human Connection

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From the world’s foremost neuroscientist of romantic love comes a personal story of connection and heartbreak that brings new understanding to an old truth: better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. At thirty-seven, Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo was content to be single. She was fulfilled by her work on the neuroscience of romantic love—how finding and growing From the world’s foremost neuroscientist of romantic love comes a personal story of connection and heartbreak that brings new understanding to an old truth: better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. At thirty-seven, Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo was content to be single. She was fulfilled by her work on the neuroscience of romantic love—how finding and growing with a partner literally reshapes our brains. That was, until she met the foremost neuroscientist of loneliness. A whirlwind romance led to marriage, to sharing an office at the University of Chicago. After seven years of being inseparable at work and at home, Stephanie lost her beloved husband John following his intense battle with cancer. In Wired for Love, Cacioppo tells not just a science story but also a love story. She shares revelatory insights into how and why we fall in love, what makes love last, and how we process love lost—all grounded in cutting-edge findings in brain chemistry and behavioral science. Woven through it all is her moving personal story, from astonishment to unbreakable bond to grief and healing. Her experience and her work enrich each other, creating a singular blend of science and lyricism that’s essential reading for anyone looking for connection.


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From the world’s foremost neuroscientist of romantic love comes a personal story of connection and heartbreak that brings new understanding to an old truth: better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. At thirty-seven, Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo was content to be single. She was fulfilled by her work on the neuroscience of romantic love—how finding and growing From the world’s foremost neuroscientist of romantic love comes a personal story of connection and heartbreak that brings new understanding to an old truth: better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. At thirty-seven, Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo was content to be single. She was fulfilled by her work on the neuroscience of romantic love—how finding and growing with a partner literally reshapes our brains. That was, until she met the foremost neuroscientist of loneliness. A whirlwind romance led to marriage, to sharing an office at the University of Chicago. After seven years of being inseparable at work and at home, Stephanie lost her beloved husband John following his intense battle with cancer. In Wired for Love, Cacioppo tells not just a science story but also a love story. She shares revelatory insights into how and why we fall in love, what makes love last, and how we process love lost—all grounded in cutting-edge findings in brain chemistry and behavioral science. Woven through it all is her moving personal story, from astonishment to unbreakable bond to grief and healing. Her experience and her work enrich each other, creating a singular blend of science and lyricism that’s essential reading for anyone looking for connection.

30 review for Wired for Love: A Neuroscientist's Journey Through Romance, Loss, and the Essence of Human Connection

  1. 4 out of 5

    Kate Marchand

    Wow! You may WRONGLY—think this is going to be another boring scientific book by a brilliant neuroscientist but it is magnificent in it’s true stories of relationships we can all identify with, with truly fascinating science facts you learn so many of but never feel overburdened by, and a true and heartwarming love story of the author that spares no heartbreaking details. No matter where you are in life, her G.R.A.C.E. (Gratitude, Reciprocity, Altruism, Choice, Enjoyment) is my new daily Life Pl Wow! You may WRONGLY—think this is going to be another boring scientific book by a brilliant neuroscientist but it is magnificent in it’s true stories of relationships we can all identify with, with truly fascinating science facts you learn so many of but never feel overburdened by, and a true and heartwarming love story of the author that spares no heartbreaking details. No matter where you are in life, her G.R.A.C.E. (Gratitude, Reciprocity, Altruism, Choice, Enjoyment) is my new daily Life Plan. She’s “ Dr Love” and her husband is “Dr Loneliness” and their scientific minds collide in love and beauty to bring this book. There’s so many amazing quotes, but I’ll end with this: “There is beauty in the struggle.” Ow get out there in GRACE. 💕

  2. 4 out of 5

    Irene

    I wanted to like this book a lot more than I did. I am very aware that the topic of her specialty and the rampant misogyny in the neurology field has already put her in the "not to be taken seriously" box, so I am reluctant to add to it, but the neurobiology sections felt extremely surface level and Cacioppo's memoir was written in a way that made her seem like a real-life Hallmark movie protagonist. I'm not saying she made anything up, just that she falls squarely into several overused romance I wanted to like this book a lot more than I did. I am very aware that the topic of her specialty and the rampant misogyny in the neurology field has already put her in the "not to be taken seriously" box, so I am reluctant to add to it, but the neurobiology sections felt extremely surface level and Cacioppo's memoir was written in a way that made her seem like a real-life Hallmark movie protagonist. I'm not saying she made anything up, just that she falls squarely into several overused romance tropes, which is a little unfortunate when you're a real person. The inclusion of the time in which she allegedly had a subconscious premonition about her grandmother's death when she was little was a bridge too far for me. A couple of really baffling musings about the anthropological origins of romantic love as coming before friendship also made me wonder what the hell was going on, and I found the entire book to be biased towards a concept of romantic love as a passionate, all-consuming, committed relationship between two people, which is, by any measure, an entirely recent development and not, by any stretch of the imagination, the norm. It also revolved almost exclusively around heterosexual relationships. Romantic love in other animals also goes entirely unexamined. The aromantic spectrum was completely discounted and conflated with the asexual spectrum, even though they’re different things, but Cacioppo hasn’t made room in this book for people who do experience sexual attraction but experience little to no romantic attraction, which is something that happens. She also conflated asexual romantic relationships with platonic ones, and that is also very much not the same thing. People on the asexual spectrum may or may not experience romantic attraction, but the lack of sexual attraction does not mean that 1) they don’t have sex with their partners 2) their relationships are platonic. I don’t know about you but I can think of several activities that don’t involve sex that I would do with a romantic partner and wouldn’t do with a friend.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Patricia

    When I was in graduate school, I often resented having to buy expensive textbooks, often written by the professor teaching the class, which I considered a great essay with added padding to make it a book. This book was a great essay. Why we love where we love and how we are motivated to love by factors we can barely understand, IF we are even aware of them, is fascinating. The brain chemistry and neuro-connections are still uncharted territory, and in making some of these studies readable and un When I was in graduate school, I often resented having to buy expensive textbooks, often written by the professor teaching the class, which I considered a great essay with added padding to make it a book. This book was a great essay. Why we love where we love and how we are motivated to love by factors we can barely understand, IF we are even aware of them, is fascinating. The brain chemistry and neuro-connections are still uncharted territory, and in making some of these studies readable and understandable the author has done a service. A goodly portion of the book uses the author's private life and experiences as material for this book, detailing how they met, fell in love, married, and then suffered a terrible ending, full of grief and loneliness. It was illustrative, but, for me, overwrought.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Claudette R

    If you have any interest in anthropology, evolutionary psychology or understanding the human condition, you will enjoy this book. It's also rare to find a non-fiction book that has such a engaging style. If you have any interest in anthropology, evolutionary psychology or understanding the human condition, you will enjoy this book. It's also rare to find a non-fiction book that has such a engaging style.

  5. 5 out of 5

    cara

    love makes u smarter!!

  6. 5 out of 5

    Audrey

    This was a wonderful book, and I really enjoyed reading this coming from a medical background! I learned a lot about the neuroscience/medical implications of love and loneliness and reflected on my own relationships alongside the touching story of the author's own relationship. This was a wonderful book, and I really enjoyed reading this coming from a medical background! I learned a lot about the neuroscience/medical implications of love and loneliness and reflected on my own relationships alongside the touching story of the author's own relationship.

  7. 5 out of 5

    michelle

    leading neuroscientist on love falls for leading neuroscientist on loneliness meet-cute <3 short, easy to read, and a real treat if you're a romantic like me. leading neuroscientist on love falls for leading neuroscientist on loneliness meet-cute <3 short, easy to read, and a real treat if you're a romantic like me.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Lori Puma

    This book had great potential. The author’s academic expertise on love and human relationships meant that I was looking forward to compelling scientific arguments that would change how I think about love. I was also looking forward to a memoiresque recounting of her personal love story. But sadly, neither aspect of the book lives up to the potential. Structurally, this is not as strong as it could be. It’s loosely organized into the author’s chronological life story. But there are jumps in time a This book had great potential. The author’s academic expertise on love and human relationships meant that I was looking forward to compelling scientific arguments that would change how I think about love. I was also looking forward to a memoiresque recounting of her personal love story. But sadly, neither aspect of the book lives up to the potential. Structurally, this is not as strong as it could be. It’s loosely organized into the author’s chronological life story. But there are jumps in time and topic that just didn’t work for me. Plus, in a book about romantic love, I was annoyed that she doesn’t meet her husband until 25% in. Just moving that up to 10% would’ve made a huge difference in focus and then would’ve left room to expand on each stage in the romance. Both the relevant science and scenes from the relationship. Within each chapter, I felt that the presentation of the science would’ve benefitted from some framing. There were a lot of small details that are appropriate for a scientific paper but are just overwhelming in a popular science book. I also thought that at least one of her summary statements about what’s true wasn’t supported by the presented. Or at least she didn’t offer enough data to support her statement. She said that ‘romantic love is a biological necessity’ in a way that love for a job or hobby isn’t. But she cites a study early in the book that looks at how passions also change the brain. And later she cites her personal experience as a reason she believes romantic love is a biological necessity. I think that there are also some other studies that show the difference between passion, friendship, and romantic love, but claiming that something is a biological imperative is a BIG claim. A personal belief and a couple of differences just don’t seem like a high enough bar to call something a necessity. While the science often felt too detailed, the personal anecdotes had the opposite problem. They summarized when they would’ve been stronger as in-the-moment scenes. I think she tried to show how the scenes related to the science, but it just didn’t work. I think this would’ve been a really difficult book to write. Writing popular science is hard. As an subject matter expert, it’s challenging to know what details are going to be interesting to readers. Writing memoir is hard. It’s hard to know what’s going to make your personal experience feel relevant to a reader. And it’s emotionally exhausting to relive difficult times. It’s not surprising that this book fell flat when the author was trying to succeed in two different ways. I wish she would’ve chosen to do one or the other.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Wanda

    This is a beautifully written memoir about neuroscientist Stephanie 'Dr. Love' Cacioppo's own experience with romantic love. What makes it exceptional is that she explains the physiological processes behind falling in love while sharing how it felt as it was happening to her. She also touches on loneliness, grief, and the effect of covid-19 on social interactions. Overall, very eloquent and informative. This is a beautifully written memoir about neuroscientist Stephanie 'Dr. Love' Cacioppo's own experience with romantic love. What makes it exceptional is that she explains the physiological processes behind falling in love while sharing how it felt as it was happening to her. She also touches on loneliness, grief, and the effect of covid-19 on social interactions. Overall, very eloquent and informative.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Muriel

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. The author is relatable in many ways, big and small – she felt like an observer growing up, was unsure of her behavior in a crowd, found it easier to think about patterns of stars than to intuit the response in social situations. While the other kids (her cousins, classmates) are more comfortable in social situations, she finds those moment effortful and taxing. She found it difficult to open up, to reveal her personal feelings, or to connect with people, and easier to put herself totally in s The author is relatable in many ways, big and small – she felt like an observer growing up, was unsure of her behavior in a crowd, found it easier to think about patterns of stars than to intuit the response in social situations. While the other kids (her cousins, classmates) are more comfortable in social situations, she finds those moment effortful and taxing. She found it difficult to open up, to reveal her personal feelings, or to connect with people, and easier to put herself totally in science work until decades later. Her personal experience vs. professional knowledge on love: Professionally, she is a social neuroscientist studying love, and the book notes the irony in her not having much personal experience in love until late 30s. When she experienced love for the first time, with another social neuroscientist studying loneliness (her future husband), both of them rationally understand the research on love, courtship, and their impact on brain activities – then the author notes, such knowledge does not reduce their experience or making it awkward. I guess such claims are difficult to justify without the (one-person) counter-factual, how would she experience love had she not been a social neuroscientist by profession? This is always intriguing, will what we know (or anticipate) affect the subjective experience? (I have no hypothesis on the impact: Anticipation could amplify and make it more intense, or negate the presence and less intense, either a possibility.) It reminds me of similar themes in Ted Chiang’s ‘Understand’, and ‘Exhalation’ – perception and awareness of own experience. The author’s life cycle love choice: It seems the author was less confident in her earlier life (unsure about herself, looking for her parents to pick her up when they put her to grandma’s house for a day, felt like a lonely observer when her parents were so enamored with each other) – being told by senior academics that her research was not serious – and her research interest into the warm fuzzy object of love is almost like career suicide. Is this the background why love is hard to blossom during that stage in her life? Her later blossom came when she felt more confident, pushing back on other people’s doubt about her research, making a name for her research, giving talks at professional research conferences and mass media outlets – then she met her future husband Dr. Loneliness. By this time, she had a well- honed line of ‘married to her work’, which also mirrors Dr. Loneliness life-stage. That similarity and understanding of each other, the author mentioned, might be reason why she’s not scared of falling in love. Could a more confident life-cycle make love more likely? Someone might need to love self, to nourish and expand the love capacity outward for more than self? Author’s professional research on love: She talks about how social connection in general, and love in specific, have so many benefits for cognitive tasks, physical health etc. The book prompts me to think about how I think about time spent on social connection vs. non-social interaction. Focus & cutting social-connection? I previously subscribe to Cal Newport’s ‘Deep Work’ where he shuns ‘shallow’ social connection (don’t follow people on social media network) – and try to get comfortable reducing social connection, putting attention into one activity in one block of time. My subscription to Newport, I wonder, might have made me self-censor leaning towards reducing social connection (avoid shallowness) – does that smaller pool of starter-shallower connection also mean we’d have a smaller number of deeper connections? The type that would benefit cognitively, mental and physical health? Research designs, I like the author gave a few details of research design to separate placebo effect. 1. Tried to identify the effect of love separately from “familiarity” – by contrasting the effect of thinking of love relationship vs. long-term friendship of the same duration. 2. Tried to identify the effect of loving relationship – by contrasting couples who hold loving vs. adversarial conversations in healing wounds. By contrasting couples who are in good vs. not-good relationship. PFC & Rumination The author talks about the inhibition of PFC would lead to people making social faux-pas’ actions and not even aware of it. Too much of PFC would lead to over thinking & analyzing, less spontaneity, focusing on the negative, not able to enjoy the moment etc. She introduces Richard Davidson as one of the researchers in this area, using meditation and other methods to encourage people reduce an overwhelming PFC. The book also shared that walking in nature could help to balance and reduce the overwhelming PFC, something to try. Loneliness is subjective? Lonely people seem to have the same objective measurements as the not-lonely people in terms of social skills, they might even spend similar amount of time in social situation with people, as not-lonely people. They really only differ in subject feeling, the same situation might feel lonely to some, but not lonely at all to others. BUT the author again says, feeling lonely have so much negative impact on mental and physical health. Loneliness is both self-reinforcing and self-fulfilling (your perception of loneliness would further affect how you feel and react, et cetera). This is intriguing, as an individual trying to avoid such fate, how do you know that you are truly lonely if there is no objective measurement to indicate loneliness. How do you know that you are not ‘set up’(manipulated) into a mental state (by some whispering campaign, social media) to feel lonely -- and once you fell into such feelings, start suffering from the downside of loneliness? As a researcher, how do you know if the individuals are truly lonely, or manipulated into such a mental state? Would someone who had higher expectations of social interaction (from previous life experience) end up feeling lonely? Would someone lack such earlier experience or interactions be more content and not feeling less lonely at all? Maternal love that deals with pain relief Interesting tidbit: maternal love, different from other loves, engage with pain relief – being a mother is so painful to make this necessary? Female science career People have a lot of opinion on female science career: 1. The author’s first few decades of life, when she adopted a lifestyle to live lonely – people keep giving relationship advices. 2. The author’s choice of love as research field (not serious, warm, fuzzy). 3. Her grant application with ‘love’ in the title didn’t get funded, but the same content with ‘pair-bonding’ did. 4. On the author’s changing last name after getting married, saying it sets a bad example for other female scientists. 5. Tore apart the author’s research idea at a research meeting, but praise the same idea when her husband presents at the next meeting. The book contains interesting love-related stories for many well-known people: three physicists (Dirac, Einstein, Feynman), scientist (Currie), fashion designers, pop singers. Dirac’s clumsy early (non-) start is more a cautionary tale, not consistent with the author’s claims (physics produce romantic people?). Feynman’s story and writing to his departed first wife is told well in his autobiography books. (Einstein’s writing to his first wife reads strange considering how that first marriage ended up.) The author included that story and Celine’s for ‘love after’ chapter, fitting for her own experience bearing such loss in life.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Sydney Jablonski

    Are you seeking a book that masterfully blends equal parts science writing and heartbreaking memoir in under 300 pages? Look no further than Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo's latest work, Wired for Love. In her debut pop science novel (although pop science may not be giving nearly enough credit), Dr. Cacioppo discusses her own life's work as the media-proclaimed "Dr. Love", while artfully intertwining her own story of love and loss with her husband, Dr. John Cacioppo. I was drawn to request this ARC in t Are you seeking a book that masterfully blends equal parts science writing and heartbreaking memoir in under 300 pages? Look no further than Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo's latest work, Wired for Love. In her debut pop science novel (although pop science may not be giving nearly enough credit), Dr. Cacioppo discusses her own life's work as the media-proclaimed "Dr. Love", while artfully intertwining her own story of love and loss with her husband, Dr. John Cacioppo. I was drawn to request this ARC in the first place because I devour science books of the Mary Roach variety, but I was quickly blown away as I discovered that this book would be much more multidimensional. The author beautifully lays out the sterile, factual neuroscience behind love, in tandem with her own extremely human experience of it. I believe every reader will be able to take away something from this work, and then some. Pick this up when it comes out!

  12. 5 out of 5

    ellie s

    “so many people have ideas about the proper place of love. think about the old cliché, “fools in love,” which suggests that somehow people in a passionate relationship always have their heads in the clouds and are thinking only of themselves. as study after study shows, that’s not remotely true. love sharpens our minds, improves our social intelligence, and makes us more creative together than we could ever hope to have been alone… love is a biological necessity.” this book completely changed the “so many people have ideas about the proper place of love. think about the old cliché, “fools in love,” which suggests that somehow people in a passionate relationship always have their heads in the clouds and are thinking only of themselves. as study after study shows, that’s not remotely true. love sharpens our minds, improves our social intelligence, and makes us more creative together than we could ever hope to have been alone… love is a biological necessity.” this book completely changed the way i view love and romance. love is definitively the most magical thing that actually exists in this universe, proven through scientists like stephanie cacioppo (dr. love) and her late husband, john cacioppo (dr. loneliness)! this book can be categorized as a romantic scientific memoir, and i’ve never read anything like it. it’s a short, but powerful read that puts romantic love under a scientific lens, and is beautiful every page of the way. i’m a hopeless romantic to the bone, but also very curious about the objective science behind romance. this book meshes love and science perfectly. i recommend this book to, well, everyone—because love is a biological necessity.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Minervas Owl

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Stephanie Cacioppo piqued my interest by posing some gripping questions about love in the introduction. Is it an emotion or a cognition? Is it a primal urge or a social construct? Is it a natural high or a dangerous drug? Is love still love if it's not mutually felt? Is love still love in the absence of lust? Can you truly be in love with two people at one time? Did I find definite answers to these questions when I reached the end of the book? NO. Did I feel a bit cheated by the author? YES. But Stephanie Cacioppo piqued my interest by posing some gripping questions about love in the introduction. Is it an emotion or a cognition? Is it a primal urge or a social construct? Is it a natural high or a dangerous drug? Is love still love if it's not mutually felt? Is love still love in the absence of lust? Can you truly be in love with two people at one time? Did I find definite answers to these questions when I reached the end of the book? NO. Did I feel a bit cheated by the author? YES. But I also never truly expected that neuroscience today could solve all mysteries about love. Moreover, Stephanie did introduce research that provide relevant info for these questions. So, no hard feelings. The book covers one particular area in which neuroscience does advance my understanding of love. Not without coincidence, it is Stephanie's research area. Through brain imaging, she shows that thinking about a loved one not only activates the pleasure center but also various cognitive systems, including those related to higher-level cognitions such as self-representation and body image. Such activations are much stronger when people think of a loved one than a friend. The research above supports the other empirical findings: people in love are more creative, better at reading other people's body language, and better at perceiving others' emotions and anticipating their actions. In addition, love also makes people feel less pain and bounce back faster from diseases. Though I appreciate Stephanie helping me see the power of love from angles that are both novel and empirically supported, I also wish she can make her book more balanced by telling the dark side of love: obsession, partiality, excessive dependency, and vengefulness, which Nussbaum summarizes well in Upheavals of Thoughts. I am also wondering how universal are the summarized research results across cultures. As Nussbaum points out, people from different cultures do not necessarily think of romantic love as central in their conception of what life is as Americans. The Ifaluk people, for example, use the same word for "love" and "compassion", and perhaps treats the latter as the paradigm experience the word represents. Compared with the book's introduction to neuroscience, I end up liking Stephanie's personal story more. I enjoyed reading about her childhood living under the roof of two loving parents, her being interested in social dynamics yet not feeling the urgency to find a companion for herself, and of course, her story of love and loss with "Dr. Loneliness", which shows an interesting interaction between scientific research and personal experience. Side Notes: - When Stephanie proposed to study the neuroscience of love in graduate school, one of her professors told her that she was conducting career suicide. He was one of many who considered "love" too vast, too unspecific, and too subjective a topic to be studied effectively. Another example: when Stephanie submitted a grant proposal with "love" in its title, it got rejected. She replaced "love" with "pair-bonding" while keeping the rest unchanged, and then received the grant money. I wish Stephanie could have gone deeper on this subject. How did she handle the pooh-poohing from mainstream academia and handle their (partly legit?) concerns? According to the number of research accumulated, it seems like love has become a more acceptable research topic? If so, how did it happen?

  14. 4 out of 5

    Sam Hughes

    First of all I wanted to thank Flatiron Books for this ARC of Wired for Love: A Neuroscientist's Journey Through Romance, Loss, and the Essence of Human Connection. This book is unlike anything I've ever read before, but as I found myself unable to set it down, I learned more than I have in a long time. Enter a love letter written in the formatting of a scientific journal and you'll find Stephanie Cacioppo's Wired for Love. Do you ever find yourself wondering how the brain works throughout vario First of all I wanted to thank Flatiron Books for this ARC of Wired for Love: A Neuroscientist's Journey Through Romance, Loss, and the Essence of Human Connection. This book is unlike anything I've ever read before, but as I found myself unable to set it down, I learned more than I have in a long time. Enter a love letter written in the formatting of a scientific journal and you'll find Stephanie Cacioppo's Wired for Love. Do you ever find yourself wondering how the brain works throughout various events in our life -- take falling in love and death for example. With the Pre-Frontal Cortex being the main decision-maker in our actions, there are many different neurons zapping around to guide us in our journey with love and other drugs. (not actual drugs, but events that emit oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin and other chemicals throughout our body.) We get taken on a path of ups and downs with author Cacioppo's love story with herself, her husband, colleagues/family, and then ultimately herself and the ghost of her husband after his demise and struggle with cancer. A beautifully-put romance (of sorts) where we get a first hand glimpse of how the brain is at the driver's seat of it all, with case studies and research to prove it. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and didn't feel bogged down by the scientific data that was presented in the text; rather I was intrigued to finish chapter after chapter to get to the end of the premise. 5/5 I really recommend this one.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Anna

    Bought on a whim on the basis of an ad on social media this wasn’t quite what I was expecting. It’s a quick and easy read and she touches on quite a variety of research about the effects of love, loneliness and bereavement interwoven into the story of how she fell passionately in love with another researcher. However the balance between research and personal story is going to affect whether this is the book for you. For many the focus on the course of her relationship will be what they enjoy mos Bought on a whim on the basis of an ad on social media this wasn’t quite what I was expecting. It’s a quick and easy read and she touches on quite a variety of research about the effects of love, loneliness and bereavement interwoven into the story of how she fell passionately in love with another researcher. However the balance between research and personal story is going to affect whether this is the book for you. For many the focus on the course of her relationship will be what they enjoy most. But for others, including me, the way it’s been written feels as if her agent told her to focus on the hallmark movie elements and her relationship in case people get put off by too much science. While her love story is engaging and obviously central to her life it feels like her personal experience takes up an awful lot of the book. Some fascinating research is only lightly touched on before she moves on to the next thing. But if it was designed to get you curious to read more she succeeded and I’m glad there’s a good sized list of research at the back. So much she covers could be a whole book by itself.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Daniel

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I never gave love much thought before reading wired for love. I never considered it might make a person better at tasks. When I thought about love from my experience seeing someone I love does make me feel better. I feel more relaxed. More excited about life and about the possibilities about the future. And when I never see the person I loved again I felt bad miserable. Alone. I also thought Stephanie was not only talking about people you love but, a job or a hobby. Which when I do a hobby I lik I never gave love much thought before reading wired for love. I never considered it might make a person better at tasks. When I thought about love from my experience seeing someone I love does make me feel better. I feel more relaxed. More excited about life and about the possibilities about the future. And when I never see the person I loved again I felt bad miserable. Alone. I also thought Stephanie was not only talking about people you love but, a job or a hobby. Which when I do a hobby I like I do feel better also. I also liked hearing about Stephanie's life. How she grew up thinking she would be alone and then found her husband. In the chapter she wrote about his death she said it was hard for her to write about what happened. It was hard for me to read what happened. They go to sleep thinking he has turned a corner only to have him wake up coughing in the night. His mouth fills with blood then he is gone. Thinking about the way her husband died made me sad for awhile. How awful. I hope that reading wired for love will make me see that yes love is important. That I need love in my life. Whether its people, or a hobby I do need to have love in my life.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Franchesca

    Dive deep into the inner workings of a lonely brain, a connected brain, and a brain in love. Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo, a neuroscientist of romantic love, was content being single, focusing on her work delving deep into the inner workings of the brain and how humans are uniquely affected by love. At thirty-seven she met John, a renowned neuroscientist of lonliness, fell in love, and got married. After seven year of marriage, living and working together, John, after a long battle with cancer, passed Dive deep into the inner workings of a lonely brain, a connected brain, and a brain in love. Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo, a neuroscientist of romantic love, was content being single, focusing on her work delving deep into the inner workings of the brain and how humans are uniquely affected by love. At thirty-seven she met John, a renowned neuroscientist of lonliness, fell in love, and got married. After seven year of marriage, living and working together, John, after a long battle with cancer, passed away, leaving Stephanie feeling deep loneliness and grief. This book is about love, connection, joy, loss, loneliness and grief, and how these feelings and emotions change and shape our brains and effect the physical body, in a beautiful memoir that opens the heart and brain to the power of love and positive emotions. An interesting, touching and informative read. This review is of an ARC I won in a Goodreads giveaway.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Lois Anderson

    I am so thankful for this book and for author Stephanie Cacioppo! When I read the Introduction, to "Wired For Love," I didn't think I would finish the book; but when I read this on p. 30, "some public health experts now consider chronic loneliness on par with smoking as a grave risk to your health," I wanted to know what neuroscientists discovered about loneliness. "How to Fight Loneliness," was a section on p135-137. The author also shares her love story of meeting another neuroscientist, John C I am so thankful for this book and for author Stephanie Cacioppo! When I read the Introduction, to "Wired For Love," I didn't think I would finish the book; but when I read this on p. 30, "some public health experts now consider chronic loneliness on par with smoking as a grave risk to your health," I wanted to know what neuroscientists discovered about loneliness. "How to Fight Loneliness," was a section on p135-137. The author also shares her love story of meeting another neuroscientist, John Cacioppo, falling in love and marrying. The world view of John Cacioppo importance was shown that at his funeral the chapel was decorated with white flowers sent by the crown princess of Denmark, she knew John well and was inspired by his work on loneliness, which she made a priority of her nonprofit foundation. Ms. Cacioppo shares her experience of grief and coming to grips with the new normal of living without her much loved husband. This book will be of interest to many!

  19. 5 out of 5

    Rebekah

    This writing is terrible. There is nothing beautiful or pleasurable about it. Or even enlightening. The first couple chapters (which are the only ones I read) read like a bad undergraduate term paper, dancing around and around the subject, throwing out uninteresting and overly broad statistics to apparently try to situate the topic. There are some odd contradictions, too, like the author saying she’s a “hopeless romantic” then saying that up through the age of like 37 she thought she had no need This writing is terrible. There is nothing beautiful or pleasurable about it. Or even enlightening. The first couple chapters (which are the only ones I read) read like a bad undergraduate term paper, dancing around and around the subject, throwing out uninteresting and overly broad statistics to apparently try to situate the topic. There are some odd contradictions, too, like the author saying she’s a “hopeless romantic” then saying that up through the age of like 37 she thought she had no need for romantic love. What really killed it for me, though, was the anecdote about all the brains stored at the university and how she brings a brain to class and lets her students hold and touch it. That’s disgusting. And by that far into the book, we were still no closer to its actual, purported subject. Damn I hope this person is a better scientist than she is a writer. So disappointed.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Kerry Beth

    I won an Advanced Reader Copy of this book in a Goodreads Giveaway. Thank you! Part scientific monograph, part memoir, Stephanie Cacioppo spent the bulk of her career researching the neuroscience of love, but believing she was destined to spend her life single. Until the day she met John Cacioppo, a neuroscientist who spent his career researching the neuroscience of loneliness, and they fell in love. Diving into the research both of them have done, Stephanie writes about the science in a way that I won an Advanced Reader Copy of this book in a Goodreads Giveaway. Thank you! Part scientific monograph, part memoir, Stephanie Cacioppo spent the bulk of her career researching the neuroscience of love, but believing she was destined to spend her life single. Until the day she met John Cacioppo, a neuroscientist who spent his career researching the neuroscience of loneliness, and they fell in love. Diving into the research both of them have done, Stephanie writes about the science in a way that is accessible and understandable. More, by mixing the science with her own love story, she makes it human. Fascinating, page turning, tear jerking and joyful - not all adjectives I would have expected to use to describe a scientific non-fiction book, yet all accurate. Well worth the read.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Luis Cuesta

    I received this book as a Goodreads review and I like how Stephanie Cacioppo blends memoir and science in her book in order to explain love’s ability to enhance one’s life. Based on her own research as a neuroscientist, she shares revelatory insights into how and why we fall in love, what makes love last, and how we process love lost. Cacioppo also recounts her own love story to explore the healing power of partnership in a moving way that mixes her scholarship and devotion to science with human I received this book as a Goodreads review and I like how Stephanie Cacioppo blends memoir and science in her book in order to explain love’s ability to enhance one’s life. Based on her own research as a neuroscientist, she shares revelatory insights into how and why we fall in love, what makes love last, and how we process love lost. Cacioppo also recounts her own love story to explore the healing power of partnership in a moving way that mixes her scholarship and devotion to science with human insight.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Kit Ledvina

    Warning: There is a strong potential that this book will make you cry. Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo describes both her scientific and romantic evolution in a way that makes it impossible not to become invested. Cacioppo enriches descriptions of the neurological components of love with personal anecdotes. If you are curious about biology and a romantic this is the book for you! Though not my favorite science book, or my favorite memoir both components were very well done. Thank you to the publisher, aut Warning: There is a strong potential that this book will make you cry. Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo describes both her scientific and romantic evolution in a way that makes it impossible not to become invested. Cacioppo enriches descriptions of the neurological components of love with personal anecdotes. If you are curious about biology and a romantic this is the book for you! Though not my favorite science book, or my favorite memoir both components were very well done. Thank you to the publisher, author and NetGalley for this ALC. Content Warnings: Illness, Death, Grief

  23. 5 out of 5

    Lorri Coburn

    Who knew that romantic love, clearly delineated from motherly, brotherly or other kinds of love, affects 12 different areas of the brain? We've long known men who are married live longer, but now we know it's not just because their wives manage their meals and doctor visits. Romantic love, and not just in its initial phases, supports the production of the feel-good neurochemicals dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. The technical information is delivered in a reader-friendly manner, as Stephanie r Who knew that romantic love, clearly delineated from motherly, brotherly or other kinds of love, affects 12 different areas of the brain? We've long known men who are married live longer, but now we know it's not just because their wives manage their meals and doctor visits. Romantic love, and not just in its initial phases, supports the production of the feel-good neurochemicals dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. The technical information is delivered in a reader-friendly manner, as Stephanie recounts her personal love story along with scientific details.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Alexis Coy

    I really enjoyed ready this even though I am not much of a nonfiction reader. I liked how Cacioppo mixed statics and results from studies with her own stories and stories of other love stories. I feel like this mix made it easier to understand that statics since going into this, I didn't know much about neuroscience. It was a deep look at love and everything that it brings with it. The way Cacioppo tells her and John's story shows how love changes people for the good and the bad. I really enjoyed ready this even though I am not much of a nonfiction reader. I liked how Cacioppo mixed statics and results from studies with her own stories and stories of other love stories. I feel like this mix made it easier to understand that statics since going into this, I didn't know much about neuroscience. It was a deep look at love and everything that it brings with it. The way Cacioppo tells her and John's story shows how love changes people for the good and the bad.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Henry Dennen

    Super duper amazing. I love her psychological and neurological commentary. Her story was beautiful, haunting, yet enchanting all while being extremely relatable. Seeing the connections to my own life (using running to help with depression, star gazing, love, etc.) was a pleasant surprise I did not expect to find in a neurological book. Dr Love is an amazing author and storyteller. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and would tell everyone about the things I have learnt in it.

  26. 5 out of 5

    ☆ Katie

    Through this book, Cacioppo bridges her field of neuroscience with her own personal experience with falling in love. She doesn't go too far into the nitty-gritty of the science but rather explains concepts in simpler terms that anyone without a science background can appreciate. This book is not wholly comprehensive in terms of different types of loving relationships, but it also does not claim to do so. The book is deeply personal but also informative; a thoroughly enjoyable read. Through this book, Cacioppo bridges her field of neuroscience with her own personal experience with falling in love. She doesn't go too far into the nitty-gritty of the science but rather explains concepts in simpler terms that anyone without a science background can appreciate. This book is not wholly comprehensive in terms of different types of loving relationships, but it also does not claim to do so. The book is deeply personal but also informative; a thoroughly enjoyable read.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Melissa

    I won this from a Goodreads giveaway. It was informative and bittersweet (I'm a widow, so I can relate to the author in that respect.) Very well researched and cited. The only thing that I thought could be better is if the publisher would have included the notes at the bottom of the page. Highly recommended. I won this from a Goodreads giveaway. It was informative and bittersweet (I'm a widow, so I can relate to the author in that respect.) Very well researched and cited. The only thing that I thought could be better is if the publisher would have included the notes at the bottom of the page. Highly recommended.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Lori Tatar

    Wired for Love brings neuroscience to the masses. This book is a manual, a love story, a study aid, a tragedy, and is entirely human. It has been written with profound beauty that is paradoxically based in scientific studies, data and facts. I was entirely drawn into the narrative from the first page and read eagerly through the last. It is accessible to all and simply gorgeous.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Danielle.

    This was truly so incredible. Normally it takes me quite a bit to get through interesting but scientific work like this was revolutionized for me to have it also have a memoir aspect as well. All around, just fascinating and also a bit devastating. It made me grateful for my brain.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Rachel Tibbitts

    This book is fascinating! The brain is so complex and amazing...this book delves into the science of love along with the authors personal account of love and loss...I will definitely being using this book as a reference for the future!

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