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Man, Fuck This House

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With his “highly visual and cinematic worldbuilding” (Booklife by Publishers Weekly), Brian Asman spins a horrifying and imaginative tale of an ordinary family and their extraordinary new house… Sabrina Haskins and her family have just moved into their dream home, a gorgeous Craftsman in the rapidly-growing Southwestern city of Jackson Hill. Sabrina’s a bored and disillusio With his “highly visual and cinematic worldbuilding” (Booklife by Publishers Weekly), Brian Asman spins a horrifying and imaginative tale of an ordinary family and their extraordinary new house… Sabrina Haskins and her family have just moved into their dream home, a gorgeous Craftsman in the rapidly-growing Southwestern city of Jackson Hill. Sabrina’s a bored and disillusioned homemaker, Hal a reverse mortgage salesman with a penchant for ill-timed sports analogies. Their two children, Damien and Michaela, are bright and precocious. At first glance, the house is perfect. But things aren’t what they seem. Sabrina’s hearing odd noises, seeing strange visions. Their neighbors are odd or absent. And Sabrina’s already-fraught relationship with her son is about to be tested in a way no parent could ever imagine. Because while the Haskins family might be the newest owners of 4596 James Circle, they’re far from its only residents…


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With his “highly visual and cinematic worldbuilding” (Booklife by Publishers Weekly), Brian Asman spins a horrifying and imaginative tale of an ordinary family and their extraordinary new house… Sabrina Haskins and her family have just moved into their dream home, a gorgeous Craftsman in the rapidly-growing Southwestern city of Jackson Hill. Sabrina’s a bored and disillusio With his “highly visual and cinematic worldbuilding” (Booklife by Publishers Weekly), Brian Asman spins a horrifying and imaginative tale of an ordinary family and their extraordinary new house… Sabrina Haskins and her family have just moved into their dream home, a gorgeous Craftsman in the rapidly-growing Southwestern city of Jackson Hill. Sabrina’s a bored and disillusioned homemaker, Hal a reverse mortgage salesman with a penchant for ill-timed sports analogies. Their two children, Damien and Michaela, are bright and precocious. At first glance, the house is perfect. But things aren’t what they seem. Sabrina’s hearing odd noises, seeing strange visions. Their neighbors are odd or absent. And Sabrina’s already-fraught relationship with her son is about to be tested in a way no parent could ever imagine. Because while the Haskins family might be the newest owners of 4596 James Circle, they’re far from its only residents…

30 review for Man, Fuck This House

  1. 4 out of 5

    Zachary Ashford

    Brian Asman's Man, Fuck This House is the rare kind of haunted house novel that injects the tropes of the genre with a blast of invention. The quirky one-liners and snide observations that inform so much of his work are still present (and hopefully they never leave), but for the most part, this is a more serious work that delivers a creative take the haunted house tale desperately needs. While this one starts off as a slow-burn, it descends into chaotic action in a way that only Asman can delive Brian Asman's Man, Fuck This House is the rare kind of haunted house novel that injects the tropes of the genre with a blast of invention. The quirky one-liners and snide observations that inform so much of his work are still present (and hopefully they never leave), but for the most part, this is a more serious work that delivers a creative take the haunted house tale desperately needs. While this one starts off as a slow-burn, it descends into chaotic action in a way that only Asman can deliver. The body-count is high, the thrills are energetic, and the gut-punch, when it hits is brutal.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Scott Cumming

    I'm an As-fan, bamp bamp!! One for the old school WWE fans there and this book is for all you folks who love your books to be fun and different and to generally not give a shit. That's maybe the biggest compliment I can give Asman is that he writes the books he wants to and doesn't fully care if you are down for it or not. Compared to his other recent novels this one probably starts out more conventionally than most with a family moving into a new house only to find it isn't what it seems before I'm an As-fan, bamp bamp!! One for the old school WWE fans there and this book is for all you folks who love your books to be fun and different and to generally not give a shit. That's maybe the biggest compliment I can give Asman is that he writes the books he wants to and doesn't fully care if you are down for it or not. Compared to his other recent novels this one probably starts out more conventionally than most with a family moving into a new house only to find it isn't what it seems before the book moves in an atypical direction for this type of novel and one that succeeds with flourishes and humour. I'm down for whatever Asman has to offer us going forward and hope he continues to bow to nobody with his loopy takes on standard genre fare.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Daniel Russell

    This might be a very quick review as this is one of those books where you're better off knowing absolutely nothing going in, because Asman's plot jumps and flips around like a fish out of water and you have no idea where it might go! I can safely list a few great things about this one. Firstly, I felt that every character...was a character. No filler here. Everyone is nice and fleshed, with an almost tongue in cheek approach to what some may consider stereotypes. For example, the new age hippy ne This might be a very quick review as this is one of those books where you're better off knowing absolutely nothing going in, because Asman's plot jumps and flips around like a fish out of water and you have no idea where it might go! I can safely list a few great things about this one. Firstly, I felt that every character...was a character. No filler here. Everyone is nice and fleshed, with an almost tongue in cheek approach to what some may consider stereotypes. For example, the new age hippy neighbour is just how you would imagine her to be, but that doesn't mean the author doesn't have fun with her! In fact, as this is a very fun book, I was trying to figure out what I would compare it too. But here's that flippy floppy fish again. One moment it's like a Simpsons Treehouse of Horror, the next, more like a South Park episode. And hell, it works. You really don't know where the story is going or what's coming next. It's October. You want some good, spooky fun. You want to get a copy of this.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Sally

    I'm going to be honest, I did not have high expectations for this book. I had to own it because the title is pure genius for a haunted house story. But I hadn't heard of the author and I hadn't heard of anyone talking about this book. I did commit to adding a full star to my rating before I began reading the book because the title gave me a moment of pure joy when I came across it. That being said, I enjoyed every minute of this book! I liked the writing style, the plot was engaging and it was ju I'm going to be honest, I did not have high expectations for this book. I had to own it because the title is pure genius for a haunted house story. But I hadn't heard of the author and I hadn't heard of anyone talking about this book. I did commit to adding a full star to my rating before I began reading the book because the title gave me a moment of pure joy when I came across it. That being said, I enjoyed every minute of this book! I liked the writing style, the plot was engaging and it was just really fun to read. It took a couple of turns that I very much didn't expect. Totally entertaining. The only downside to this book was there were more than a few typos, just minor ones but it always breaks the spell for me for a moment when I come across them. Overall I absolutely recommend this book. I definitely enjoyed it and will be checking out other books by Mr. Asman for sure!

  5. 4 out of 5

    Angel Dey

    Much like most others, I bought this book on title alone. How could you not? The title is a promise that shit's going down, and this book delivers on that promise! It starts off promising with a lot of snarky description and really gives you a sense of the characters right away. I even chuckled at times. You can tell right away things are not happy-go-lucky with this family despite outward appearances. And because this is a horror story, that family dynamic is going to be important. Will they br Much like most others, I bought this book on title alone. How could you not? The title is a promise that shit's going down, and this book delivers on that promise! It starts off promising with a lot of snarky description and really gives you a sense of the characters right away. I even chuckled at times. You can tell right away things are not happy-go-lucky with this family despite outward appearances. And because this is a horror story, that family dynamic is going to be important. Will they break? Will they bond? Will they turn against each other in some horrifying cannibalistic way? Must keep reading to find out. Sabrina's first encounter with a "ghost" is really quite amusing. He's harmless and even helpful. She's freaking out understandably, but much like her new neighbor's assessment, it doesn't seem like something to be upset by. As more and more helpful but unexplained things happen, Sabrina calms down about them and really starts to enjoy the comforts provided. But, of course, it can't always be this good, right? No, the title told me shit was going to happen, and shit happened. I'm not going to spoil the rest, but know that it is totally worth your while to read this story. It's a riot. Fun, funny, horrifying, electrifying. It's weird and awesome. And despite the fact I usually HATE happy endings, this one is an unsettling happy-ish ending that was satisfying and made me happy. I really did like Sabrina and this ending was a good end for her.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Nick Kolakowski

    "Man, Fuck This House" is more than just a great title... it represents a fantastic evolution in Brian Asman's writing. Much of the book recaptures the frenetic pacing, hilarious comedy, and inventive dialogue of his previous novels... but at the same time, he also unleashes some suspense-building tricks worthy of King or Barker. I read a lot of horror novels, and think of myself as a somewhat jaded reader, but "Man, Fuck This House" still has sequences I found damn unsettling. On top of that, yo "Man, Fuck This House" is more than just a great title... it represents a fantastic evolution in Brian Asman's writing. Much of the book recaptures the frenetic pacing, hilarious comedy, and inventive dialogue of his previous novels... but at the same time, he also unleashes some suspense-building tricks worthy of King or Barker. I read a lot of horror novels, and think of myself as a somewhat jaded reader, but "Man, Fuck This House" still has sequences I found damn unsettling. On top of that, you'll find a lot of neat riffs and callbacks to some of the 20th century's biggest horror classics, including 'The Omen' and 'Poltergeist,' so that's pretty great for horror fans. In other words, if you're looking for a good Halloween read (or a good anytime read), pick this up: It's scary, it's funny, it's quick. Then go buy Asman's other books, which also max out the funny/quick side of things.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Ross Cumming

    I’ve got to be honest and say that I had never heard of the author Brian Asman before and I was purely drawn to this book because of its quirky title, which is a phrase used by one of the cops when witnessing the events unfold. The Haskins, Dad, Hal, his wife Sabrina and their children Michaela and Damien drive across six states to their new home in Jackson Hill, following their Dad’s transfer to a new branch office. They immediately move into their new home and before long they discover that the I’ve got to be honest and say that I had never heard of the author Brian Asman before and I was purely drawn to this book because of its quirky title, which is a phrase used by one of the cops when witnessing the events unfold. The Haskins, Dad, Hal, his wife Sabrina and their children Michaela and Damien drive across six states to their new home in Jackson Hill, following their Dad’s transfer to a new branch office. They immediately move into their new home and before long they discover that they are not the only occupants. Mum Sabrina seems to be the main target of the unexplained events that follow but soon the whole family are affected in one way or another by the weird goings on in their new home. This is a highly unique and original take on the ‘haunted house’ genre and is like nothing I’ve read before. Asman ramps up the chill factor but combines the frights and violence with some genuine comic moments. The true nature of the haunting when eventually revealed is highly original and the lengths the house goes to to protect itself is both uniquely scary and also hilariously funny in equal measure. Asman proves to be an unusually imaginative writer who is definitely not afraid to take chances and in doing so turns this sometimes stale genre on its head. There are also a few twists along the way and just to make you aware, keep reading after the ‘acknowledgments’ for the final twist in the tale.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Janine Pipe

    Sometimes we are drawn in by an amazing cover, other times by a freaking awesome title. And of course that was what led me to this book. I didn’t even know the synopsis, I only knew I had read some of Brian’s previous work, he is a very cool guy and I wanted to know what that house had done. I have been sick and I am way behind on reading as always but there was just something that drew me in and before I knew it, I had finished this whirlwind of a ride. And that that something was Brian’s voice Sometimes we are drawn in by an amazing cover, other times by a freaking awesome title. And of course that was what led me to this book. I didn’t even know the synopsis, I only knew I had read some of Brian’s previous work, he is a very cool guy and I wanted to know what that house had done. I have been sick and I am way behind on reading as always but there was just something that drew me in and before I knew it, I had finished this whirlwind of a ride. And that that something was Brian’s voice. I loved this story! As far as haunted houses go, this one is completely different whilst still managing to tick all the expected boxes. Without spoilers, part way through I thought we were getting an homage to Eugene Tooms which I was all for but that rapidly changed into something I had no idea was coming and I was there for it. As with any good story, the characters are imperative – you have to feel for them. You don’t have to like them, but they must evoke emotion in order for you to give a crap. I liked all of them but my fave by far was the son, Damien. He remined me of Stewie from Family Guy and was just a fun whilst messed up kid. The mom, Sabrina, was highly relatable too. There were moments of mirth, moments of WTF but mostly I just wanted to keep turning the pages and see what would happen next. Although this is novella, it isn’t all killer no filler, it is written beautifully and there is plenty of description and atmosphere. The very end is a little bizarro but still sticks the landing. I will continue to enjoy Brian’s work and after reading this I can concur, Man, Fuck That House…kind of…you’ll have to read it to find out if you agree. 5 stars

  9. 5 out of 5

    Thomas Joyce

    A strange and wonderful read What begins as a run-of-the-mill haunted house story (new tenants, spooky happenings, messing with the tenants' heads) soon takes a bizarro turn. The story begins quite seriously, although it is peppered with Asman's unique sense of humour. Apart from the creepy occurrences within the new home, which only seem to manifest themselves in the presence of mother Sabrina, there is more going on, specifically her young son, Damien, making it his sole mission to send her ins A strange and wonderful read What begins as a run-of-the-mill haunted house story (new tenants, spooky happenings, messing with the tenants' heads) soon takes a bizarro turn. The story begins quite seriously, although it is peppered with Asman's unique sense of humour. Apart from the creepy occurrences within the new home, which only seem to manifest themselves in the presence of mother Sabrina, there is more going on, specifically her young son, Damien, making it his sole mission to send her insane. There are nods to the haunted house sub-genre throughout, but the story is quite unique when we consider the role that Asman has given the house. It is far from passive and, in one memorably bizarro twist, it takes on some wonderfully weird characteristics. But, while this could have turned out quite silly, it actually leads to the exploration of relationships and codependency. Quite a touching and moving end to a strange and wonderful read.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Eli

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. What an enjoyable read! I found myself engrossed in the plight of Sabrina- a classic take on the overworked, under appreciated, yet slightly grotesque suburban housewife. Asman does an amazing job at making you simultaneously have sympathy and hatred for Sabrina, especially in regards to her thoughts on her family. The personification of the house is both heartbreaking and terrifying, and there were some moments that genuinely made my skin crawl. The humor is spot on and serves to make the horro What an enjoyable read! I found myself engrossed in the plight of Sabrina- a classic take on the overworked, under appreciated, yet slightly grotesque suburban housewife. Asman does an amazing job at making you simultaneously have sympathy and hatred for Sabrina, especially in regards to her thoughts on her family. The personification of the house is both heartbreaking and terrifying, and there were some moments that genuinely made my skin crawl. The humor is spot on and serves to make the horror seem more striking by comparison. There were a few narrative bits (especially with the children) that pulled me out of the story, but it was a minor blip in the road as I was almost immediately pulled back in. Overall a wonderful, strange, funny, and frightening read.

  11. 4 out of 5

    James

    perhaps obviously, I picked this one up for its amazing title (on a suggestion from Stephen Graham Jones). I really enjoyed it - it gave me some great creepy scares in late night reading sessions, and has some terrific twists. a great haunted house story that plays its scenario to an all out, insane ending. a fun read with a few great characters (love Damien!).

  12. 4 out of 5

    Matt

    Such an awesome book! Asman has outdone himself with this one, mixing his usual humor with strong prose, a tight plot, and enough bizarre action to keep you glued to the book. We are definitely seeing his growth as an amazing storyteller in here. In what starts as a somewhat cliched concept of a haunted house, an evil child genius, and a family straining to keep it together, it quickly turns into something wholly unexpected and amazing. You'll definitely not see where this is going, everything y Such an awesome book! Asman has outdone himself with this one, mixing his usual humor with strong prose, a tight plot, and enough bizarre action to keep you glued to the book. We are definitely seeing his growth as an amazing storyteller in here. In what starts as a somewhat cliched concept of a haunted house, an evil child genius, and a family straining to keep it together, it quickly turns into something wholly unexpected and amazing. You'll definitely not see where this is going, everything you think is going to happen is wrong. I had an absolute blast and hope you all do too.

  13. 5 out of 5

    John Lynch

    Ahhh, a new Brian Asman novel. I really enjoyed this one, it's quite different than the previous two books I have read from the author. The common denominator here is the authors voice. This one I would say is a mash of horror and bizzaro with some humor thrown in. The humor part is what I really think shines in all of the books I have read from the author. I liked that it wasn't immediately obvious what exactly was going on here. There were points where i thought it was supernatural, and then I Ahhh, a new Brian Asman novel. I really enjoyed this one, it's quite different than the previous two books I have read from the author. The common denominator here is the authors voice. This one I would say is a mash of horror and bizzaro with some humor thrown in. The humor part is what I really think shines in all of the books I have read from the author. I liked that it wasn't immediately obvious what exactly was going on here. There were points where i thought it was supernatural, and then I thought that it isn't, psychological. I don't want to give it away, it's a quick read and it's a great time. Highly recommend this one. You cant go wrong with a Brian Asman book.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Nick Johnson

    One of the best haunted house stories I’ve read in a while, with such a vivid 10-year old that feels like a real kid instead of what an adult thinks a kid is. Truly fun to read.

  15. 5 out of 5

    John

    Twists upon twists. You never quite know what to expect or who to expect it from. Creepy? Absolutely. Endearing? Also, absolutely. Things start going south on page one and they keep getting worse. When bad things happen, and they do, it is without pretense or warning. Thoroughly loved it.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Matthew Clarke

    This book was brilliant. It takes the typical haunted house spiel and tosses it on its head. There were several times along the way that I thought I understood what was going on and then BAM I'm slapped back onto my arse. This book was brilliant. It takes the typical haunted house spiel and tosses it on its head. There were several times along the way that I thought I understood what was going on and then BAM I'm slapped back onto my arse.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Matt

    I loved this book! Brian Asman brings his unique voice to a haunted house tale with a twist that will leave the reader guessing what’s going on until the climax. Highly recommend!

  18. 4 out of 5

    Jarrod

    Sitting somewhere between a fast Stephen King build up and a Korean Horror, this book was a relaxing read where you just sit back and enjoy the ride.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Cate

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Man, Fuck This Book… I can’t for the life of me figure out why this book was so highly rated. The characters are thin and one-dimensional, there’s no character development whatsoever and they’re stereotypical caricatures….you’ve got the snarky pre-teen girl, the husband, who seems to just be there to round out the idea of the perfect suburban family stereotype, as he barely has any actual role at all, the ‘evil demon child’ Damien who appears to live to torment his mother and pretentiously looks Man, Fuck This Book… I can’t for the life of me figure out why this book was so highly rated. The characters are thin and one-dimensional, there’s no character development whatsoever and they’re stereotypical caricatures….you’ve got the snarky pre-teen girl, the husband, who seems to just be there to round out the idea of the perfect suburban family stereotype, as he barely has any actual role at all, the ‘evil demon child’ Damien who appears to live to torment his mother and pretentiously looks down on the rest, as well as everyone around him, but that’s only After the initial impression that’s he’s really young based on the way the parents talk to him (he’s actually ten) and NO ten year talks the way this author has written him (has he even BEEN around a ten year old?) he then has the character of Damien jumping between being a pretentious jerk who acts like Damien from The Omen at times who then wants to play the ‘ultimate prank’ of dousing his mother in pigs blood like in Carrie and dressing up like a Halloween demon, to a kid/teen that likes playing Fortnite, to a young kid that enjoys SpongeBob? Then you’ve got the mother, who is a caricature of a 1950’s housewife with some mentions of who she was before she became a stereotypical housewife but she has zero development….and then you have the HOUSE, which starts off as what in the very beginning seemed like it might be a promising haunted house book, but has the mother losing her mind through most of the book (she’s terrified of a house that seems to be the kind of haunted house anyone would love to live in, it cooks, cleans draws baths, seemingly anticipates the occupants needs…that’s where the author considers scary??) Apparently, the house also has an obsession with the mother and appears as copies of other family members/occupants in order to try and kill everyone except her and the mother tries to stop it by destroying the house, that then become so outraged it rips itself out of the ground literally grows legs and literally runs away…only to later end up cornered by disbelieving cops and firefighters, where is creates an exact lookalike of the mother (who it trapped in the house when it ran away) and has a tearful heart-to-heart with the mother who then comforts the house??! This book is beyond unbelievable in the ways I’ve listed and I’ve missed a lot in the plot and the characters. The author also expects the reader to assume a lot, seeming to skip over important details and the all important plot development that’s necessary for a successful story. But aside from everything I mentioned, it would also seem neither the author, nor the editors, or agents, or anyone who read it before publication managed to catch the very glaringly obvious use of the word ‘LOSE’ spelled ‘LOOSE’…on page 172. If this wasn’t self-published or edited by what seem to be amateurs, it might have been caught it time. (I suggest self-published because the copyright is attributed to the author and not any publisher but or small) If you’re a fan of self-published books then read it, otherwise save your money because you’ll just end up frustrated.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Sheri White

    This book was a wild ride. The first half had a lot of creepy moments and also touched on the "am I crazy or not?" thoughts that most of us have had in our lives at some point. The last part of the book stretches the imagination at first, but then it captivated me and what was happening didn't seem so impossible at all. The little boy creeped me out but also had me admiring his evilness. I definitely recommend this book. It's creepy, funny, and even sad, but it's also so different from other haunt This book was a wild ride. The first half had a lot of creepy moments and also touched on the "am I crazy or not?" thoughts that most of us have had in our lives at some point. The last part of the book stretches the imagination at first, but then it captivated me and what was happening didn't seem so impossible at all. The little boy creeped me out but also had me admiring his evilness. I definitely recommend this book. It's creepy, funny, and even sad, but it's also so different from other haunted house books. And how could anybody resist the title?

  21. 5 out of 5

    J.W. Donley

    RTC

  22. 5 out of 5

    Amanda

    4.5

  23. 5 out of 5

    Norman Miller

    This book was a lot better than a book with a title like this should be. Fun, a little creepy, good story. I'd recommend it to anyone. This book was a lot better than a book with a title like this should be. Fun, a little creepy, good story. I'd recommend it to anyone.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Jammy

  25. 5 out of 5

    Lisa

  26. 4 out of 5

    Melinda Daniels

  27. 4 out of 5

    El

  28. 5 out of 5

    Chelsea

  29. 5 out of 5

    Lauren

  30. 4 out of 5

    Katherine Smith

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